drought

[billy]

i came late to this one (had work to do, sorry) so i'll just leave feedback on the latest edit.

v. 3 played with spacing, altered "weather is just" line

drought

When everything dies
people turn to the sky as an opening for the poem, it feels a bit weak, is there any way to say that would grab the attention?

Forecasters dig deeper
into weeks for signs of life same again, how about some stronger words, forecasters forage
through blah blah blah as an example

as the blue has lost its charm.
Stars have been charted and dimmed,

and the clouds that appear
pass away sorry geoff but this also feels very very weak

to a ceremony of sunlight,
birdsongs, and empty bouquets. would birdsong work better,

The flowers have lost their thirst, are the 'the's' needed?
the trees their weight,
flowers have lost their thirst
trees, their weight,

the earth its roots,
the dust its chains.

it doesn't really grab me, i think with something like drought you can be more descriptive, find lots of similes/ metaphor for different aspect. also try some assonance, consonance and alliteration. because you're using couplets about such a subject i think they need to be a lot stronger to carry us over to the next.
of course this may not be so in a love poem etc but dying of thirst (almost or the risk of it ) is pretty serious. jmo to do with as you wish

thanks for the read.