03-27-2012, 02:36 AM
I love the dialect you evoke in this poem. It works on the level of satire as well as straight speech, so the narrative voice ends up kidding it while using it. The phrase "couldn't shoot the breeze" is divine.
I'm a bit confused by the line "What happened to the Duke? Well, he turned gay." What exactly do you mean by "gay"? Are you using it in the homosexual sense, the archaic sense ("what a gay afternoon") or the ironic sense ("that car is so gay")?
You'll probably hate this comparison, but the last two lines remind me of Bukowski. By which I mean they're poignant in a rough-around-the-edges way.
Thanks for the read.
I'm a bit confused by the line "What happened to the Duke? Well, he turned gay." What exactly do you mean by "gay"? Are you using it in the homosexual sense, the archaic sense ("what a gay afternoon") or the ironic sense ("that car is so gay")?
You'll probably hate this comparison, but the last two lines remind me of Bukowski. By which I mean they're poignant in a rough-around-the-edges way.
Thanks for the read.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe