All that we have ( is all that we have left)edit .001 erthona,roy

[billy]

the long lines don't really work for me, it makes the piece feel weak,
i also thing it could be paired down some, quite a few words that feel as though they're there just for meter.
there also feels to be too much being said about the same thing. specially n the blind section. while it reads as decent narrative it doesn't feel like it reads as good as could were it broken into smaller chunks (lines and stanza)
it is better than i could write but that's no commendation

thanks for the read.