03-24-2012, 12:20 AM
Following are four sonnets-- a kind of Cliff Notes
for those who have forgotten their days in American
lit class ...
"The Ambassadors"
Lambert Strether took a boat to France
in order to convince his nephew, Chad,
that the woman he was sleeping with was bad-
that he should tend to business, not romance.
But later, when he'd had a second glance
at the way Mme. de Vionnet was clad,
Strether thought anyone would be a cad
to let her get away under any circumstance.
The plot is structured like an hour-glass
turned on its side- the men just trade places.
Chad goes back to the states (the silly ass!),
while Strether enters a state of sexless stasis.
The novel's theme is clear and unassailable-
never turn down pussy that's available.
"The Rain King"
Tormented by a voice that said, "I want,"
Henderson left his fiddle, pigs and wife
and sought to solve the riddle of his life
in Africa, that darkest continent.
Eager to serve, but heedless in his hurry,
he bombed a well, blew some frogs ker-flooey-
doing in the well, as well. Whereat the Arnewi
sent him off to visit Where The Fug Are We?
As Rain King, Hendy made water for a nation;
and so, they gave him fifty wives to service.
But one Fugggy custom made him nervous-
failure to perform meant strangulation.
So back he fled home, to farm and fiddle,
where he'd have but a single wife to diddle.
"The Sun Also Rises"
Jake and Bill and Robert, Mike and Brett
are all expatriots who spend their days
screwing, drinking and fishing-- in many ways
they aren't a responsible or sober set.
Jake's problem is that he cannot beget
children; Brett Ashley's that she lays
too many men. A general malaise
of post-war blues besets the whole quintet.
Jake and Cohen are steers who shoot the bull;
Mike and Bill are bulls who cannot steer
a straight path from bed to bar and beer.
The sun arises, sets, sets and rises--
a man's life, at best, is truly conditio-null;
at worst, it's 'nada' at the Last Assizes.
"The Leatherstocking Tales"
In the first book, Natty slew a deer
and earned the name of Hawkeye; in the next
he stalked the forest, shedding a dry-eyed tear
when Uncas fell and vanished from the text.
In the third novel, Natty blazed a trail
for a scouting party on Lake Glimmerglass;
in the fourth, he broke the law and went to jail--
in the fifth he died, on Bighorn's mountain pass.
Cooper's novels always have two plots--
one of adventure and one of pure romance.
He freely mixes love and rifle shots,
blushing girls, corset and buckskin pants.
He does so well with the scout and indian part,
but those sentimental plots?-- not worth a fart.
##
for those who have forgotten their days in American
lit class ...
"The Ambassadors"
Lambert Strether took a boat to France
in order to convince his nephew, Chad,
that the woman he was sleeping with was bad-
that he should tend to business, not romance.
But later, when he'd had a second glance
at the way Mme. de Vionnet was clad,
Strether thought anyone would be a cad
to let her get away under any circumstance.
The plot is structured like an hour-glass
turned on its side- the men just trade places.
Chad goes back to the states (the silly ass!),
while Strether enters a state of sexless stasis.
The novel's theme is clear and unassailable-
never turn down pussy that's available.
"The Rain King"
Tormented by a voice that said, "I want,"
Henderson left his fiddle, pigs and wife
and sought to solve the riddle of his life
in Africa, that darkest continent.
Eager to serve, but heedless in his hurry,
he bombed a well, blew some frogs ker-flooey-
doing in the well, as well. Whereat the Arnewi
sent him off to visit Where The Fug Are We?
As Rain King, Hendy made water for a nation;
and so, they gave him fifty wives to service.
But one Fugggy custom made him nervous-
failure to perform meant strangulation.
So back he fled home, to farm and fiddle,
where he'd have but a single wife to diddle.
"The Sun Also Rises"
Jake and Bill and Robert, Mike and Brett
are all expatriots who spend their days
screwing, drinking and fishing-- in many ways
they aren't a responsible or sober set.
Jake's problem is that he cannot beget
children; Brett Ashley's that she lays
too many men. A general malaise
of post-war blues besets the whole quintet.
Jake and Cohen are steers who shoot the bull;
Mike and Bill are bulls who cannot steer
a straight path from bed to bar and beer.
The sun arises, sets, sets and rises--
a man's life, at best, is truly conditio-null;
at worst, it's 'nada' at the Last Assizes.
"The Leatherstocking Tales"
In the first book, Natty slew a deer
and earned the name of Hawkeye; in the next
he stalked the forest, shedding a dry-eyed tear
when Uncas fell and vanished from the text.
In the third novel, Natty blazed a trail
for a scouting party on Lake Glimmerglass;
in the fourth, he broke the law and went to jail--
in the fifth he died, on Bighorn's mountain pass.
Cooper's novels always have two plots--
one of adventure and one of pure romance.
He freely mixes love and rifle shots,
blushing girls, corset and buckskin pants.
He does so well with the scout and indian part,
but those sentimental plots?-- not worth a fart.
##