The Sot-Weed Factor

[Roy Hobbs]

I am a self-styled poet
and a foppish wit---
given to brashly boast,
if given half-a-chance,
I'd swive Joanie Toast
on a clipper ship, yacht
or captain's terrace.

My sot-factor is a grunt
and callous probe
in the labyrinth
of a mons veneris.

Erewhile
The Marylandiad I'd write,
read John Smith's
Secret Historie,
and dutifully solve
the Sacred-Egg-Plant Mystery

that says man's a jiggling clown
in life's vain farce.
Always bare-bummed,
he's roundly, soundly clipped
athwart the arse.