Batteries Not Included
#4
(03-23-2012, 05:25 AM)Philatone Wrote:  If the dog were less stubborn
he, too, would survive

hours of inattention,
a few days without a cup of food
rolled into a bowel,

a week of play
without the trouble of sleep

or the guided tours of the block is 'the' needed
with their pauses at the stop sign.

I think we need batteries
for the heap nestled at my feet, panting; love this couplet

an adapter to plug him into the wall,
remove for some company on the porch
and charge at night.

Sometimes, he could be left alone
all weekend without having to worry
about bathroom breaks, restless legs
and how the house will change

with bite marks on the couch,
an odor in the bedroom 'odor' is that the yankee spelling?
and a set of teeth at the door, hehe, i know it's not constructive but it was a funny line
begging for an answer.
nothing to really give constructive feedback on for me except to say the piece works, the dog man relationship is shown fully and lovingly.
thanks for the read

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Messages In This Thread
Batteries Not Included - by Philatone - 03-23-2012, 05:25 AM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by Roy Hobbs - 03-23-2012, 07:14 AM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by popeye - 03-23-2012, 10:10 AM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by billy - 03-23-2012, 12:10 PM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by Philatone - 03-23-2012, 12:21 PM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by Erthona - 03-23-2012, 11:52 PM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by only rob - 03-24-2012, 12:17 AM
RE: Batteries Not Included - by Philatone - 03-24-2012, 03:16 AM



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