Death In The Library-- by gerunds

[Philatone]

hello roy
wanted to take a little stab at this one

I listen to her music
and I feel the lyric
banding expanding
inside her
between spaces her knees
open in carnal motion wider...liked those words, "carnal motion"

a professor walking
to a room away faint
we hear his talking ...something felt amiss in this stanza. perhaps "faintly" instead? punctuation?

my girl is breathing
whispering
fingers tilling
herself in soil ...like the allusion to nature; I admit I want it to continue for the whole stanza in a way
unfolding spaces
between her words
coming slowing

easy the filling
and all the field each beside
and insiding is lowing...been awhile since I've seen "lowing," think it is a perfect word for the case
swelling and melting
that hidden cup
holding wisdoms of Athena
speaking lyric for melodies
mocking certainties of knowledge
potations of brutal knowledge

when desire
bruising her lips
once before upstairs
in an unused library room
and here
a perfect and similar place

now the look of dread
comes sweet tearing
upon her face

in his room mister professor
must be speaking flocking
his sheep about him
taking seating and roll
and on the chalkboard scroll
what the thunder said ...getting a lot of religious imagery here especially; interesting for a library in a way, but maybe not

feel my girl tightening
and glowing growing
glowing
her gasping relieving
catches of passio
in my head

so still she brings me music
and her hair
has strung hanging
my hands searching
throat circling
fingers digging releasing
pressing ...again, here I wanted a little more around the theme of that first image, "music"

and she nodding
allowing pleading
asking she wanting
desiring to please me
by dying...great

her mouth spitting
and draining
panties piss soaking
eyes back rolling
death and I coming

I hear a librarian calling
closing time...really enjoyed the close

for what it is, I think you have a fine work here. nice to see a little experimentation, especially with a verb form that can get a bad reputation