03-22-2012, 04:18 AM
[quote='Erthona' pid='92679' dateline='1332335780']
A doily...no, I think a "silk kerchief". One sets one's drink upon a doily, or covers the end of a padded chair arm with one.
Personally I'd go with "assiduous" instead of "sedulous" for the alliteration with "aesthetic". Definitely drop the "full".
Also, purely personal I'd go with either "he" or "Gray" instead of "Dorian Gray" in L2.
Possibly "framed" instead of "posed" in L4.
Regardless, a nice and clever poem.
Dale
******
'doily' was a terrible choice.
No doily shall be used from this date
anywhere near a character's nose. It
shall continue its function as a mat
for my Irish whiskey glass.
rh
A doily...no, I think a "silk kerchief". One sets one's drink upon a doily, or covers the end of a padded chair arm with one.
Personally I'd go with "assiduous" instead of "sedulous" for the alliteration with "aesthetic". Definitely drop the "full".
Also, purely personal I'd go with either "he" or "Gray" instead of "Dorian Gray" in L2.
Possibly "framed" instead of "posed" in L4.
Regardless, a nice and clever poem.
Dale
******
'doily' was a terrible choice.
No doily shall be used from this date
anywhere near a character's nose. It
shall continue its function as a mat
for my Irish whiskey glass.
rh