03-21-2012, 09:59 PM
That's pretty good Ray, especially for love poetry. The excess "and"s were a bit offputting. Maybe:
i left
right in the middle of you
in the other cities
there was always
a street like you
i would steal it's name
sing to it
take it to bed with me
before
they made me put it back
but now
i'm back
i'm right
where i left off
right
in the middle of you
right in the middle of you
in the other cities
there was always
a street like you
i would steal it's name
sing to it
take it to bed with me
before
they made me put it back
but now
i'm back
i'm right
where i left off
right
in the middle of you
To me that reads better and clearer. Of course I am assuming there is not some hidden image I am missing and screwing up. 
Dale
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.