Babe

[Bronte]

well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on
i was always at the rear.
there was four brothers
and four sisters well!
with eight feeding came a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly got a bite

a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
and to whom they didn’t care.
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
andwrite it all down in a book.

this one bloke, he picked me up
then looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing”
for i haven’t got a sty.
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,

ok!
i could go on and make this long
but there really is no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lard-fat and pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm the babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.