This Winter (edit 1)

[Bronte]

hi tom

i started leaving feedback (not that i'm any good at grammar) and what i were struck by were some comma's that felt excessive on line ends. in some places i think you could let the line end work as the comma, (as you have done with some lines already). for me some of the lines are comma heavy, but beware, it could just be my untrustworthy grammar
was stirrred meant to have 3 r's (it actually works well )

You are right in that Billy. one must look at the page and how it will look printed. I find a lot just love to hang comers thick as ticks sucking the life off the way the designer must set the page.
Most writers never let this thought enter their heads about the finished product. The end of a line is a nature place to breath. I too say use everything seen and unseen to invite the reader in.