at the artisan's

[Erthona]

Geoff,

That's clearer.
-------------------------------------------

Here is how I am reading what you have written. Does this match what you mean to say, or are you trying to say something different?


"In front of the painter
who lunches at his workbench

the woman I will marry
guides me towards the portraits:
eyes vacant as seashells.

A wall separates us
from the artist:
dividing those who guiltily browse
--enjoying his labor for free--
from those who buy.

She samples the oiled orchard:
a bite of every apple..."

-------------------------------------------------
Geoff,

why is it just "she" who samples? Why not "we"? The speaker is obviously there with the "woman who he will marry", so why is this not a joint experience. She can guide, but both would partake (this also acts as a nice metaphor for the roles of men and women in at least some marriages, certainly it can echo the "Adam and Eve" story).


"We sample the oiled orchard:
a bit of every apple..."


Dale