03-16-2012, 03:47 PM
From dictionary.com
sylva or silva (ˈsɪlvə)
— n , pl -vas , -vae
the trees growing in a particular region
[C17: Latin silva a wood]
----------------------------------------------------
This was an experimental form I was trying to develop. I think the anticipation of the rhyme weights it towards feeling forced even if it wouldn't normally be perceived so in another form, certainly I would agree the last rhyme you note borders on the trite and unimaginative. I think the repetition of the "feet" sound in "feet" and "defeat" maybe makes it sound forced when it is not. I think in the future if I ever revisit this form, I will try to go more with off rhyme like "shorn" and "before". Maybe even go with unrhymed lines. I think about any close rhyme will feel forced with those last two lines.
------------------------------------------------
"it feels like you really did see it in times passed as you flew over the flow was good as was the narrative. i did get an impression that you were going back to some kind of connection which for me added to the piece in making it real."
Thanks, that means a lot to me. I consider myself in the line of visionary poets, and have worked to develop that aspect of my consciousness. I consider it a form of unconsciousness extrapolation, to complex to be under ones conscious control.
Dale
sylva or silva (ˈsɪlvə)
— n , pl -vas , -vae
the trees growing in a particular region
[C17: Latin silva a wood]
----------------------------------------------------
This was an experimental form I was trying to develop. I think the anticipation of the rhyme weights it towards feeling forced even if it wouldn't normally be perceived so in another form, certainly I would agree the last rhyme you note borders on the trite and unimaginative. I think the repetition of the "feet" sound in "feet" and "defeat" maybe makes it sound forced when it is not. I think in the future if I ever revisit this form, I will try to go more with off rhyme like "shorn" and "before". Maybe even go with unrhymed lines. I think about any close rhyme will feel forced with those last two lines.
------------------------------------------------
"it feels like you really did see it in times passed as you flew over the flow was good as was the narrative. i did get an impression that you were going back to some kind of connection which for me added to the piece in making it real."
Thanks, that means a lot to me. I consider myself in the line of visionary poets, and have worked to develop that aspect of my consciousness. I consider it a form of unconsciousness extrapolation, to complex to be under ones conscious control.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.