(02-24-2012, 10:37 PM)tectak Wrote: NEW AGE edit 534,256,437b i thought this was the first line for an agethere's a fair bit of period language in the poem which can be good in near sonnets (or full ones) but for me the title sort of gets smacked around with it's use. that said i bloody love it. i see that the title doesn't mean NOW bit i automatically take it to be that. (which could just be a me thing). the content is almost beauteous because of the love note come time capsule.
We will to angry days come old and sour for some reason New age and this line doesn't work, i think it's the yoda speak
so write a lasting note from you to me;
and let the ink, sure fading, mark this hour,
the date, the second yet, whilst we can see.
The future, though still ours, no glory holds; again here
yet happy, carefree, unconcerned were we.
For all the stealth with which our time unfolds
we cannot lose the past from which we flee.
Read then the note when comes that fateful day,
that on us lays its heavy crippling hand,
that breaks our backs and turns our thin hair grey:
we saw it coming, yet we made our stand.
TK 1999 this would have made a great cryptic last line hehe
the 'second yet' is actually the 1st of three which makes at least one of them feel a bit of a connivance. the last 4 lines are poignant, for me it's a sweet love poem. (and while i did see your remark in passing, it's truly what i see without being told) sorry for not responding sooner, i was away
(jmo)thanks for the read