Dreadnaught

Dreadnaught

ckeo

member

Posts: 47
Threads: 14
Joined: Jul 2011

#14

03-10-2012, 11:23 AM

I find it is too long, I tended to skim half way through.
Too much information included which drags it out.
Suggest skipping description of the dude and go with meeting the barrel of the gun.
Could use some humour to brighten it up.

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Messages In This Thread

Dreadnaught - by Wildcard - 02-12-2012, 07:21 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Leanne - 02-12-2012, 08:06 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Erthona - 02-12-2012, 03:17 PM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Wildcard - 02-14-2012, 01:18 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by rayheinrich - 02-14-2012, 02:29 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Erthona - 02-22-2012, 10:51 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Wildcard - 02-22-2012, 11:31 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Philatone - 02-23-2012, 01:17 PM

RE: Dreadnaught - by tectak - 02-26-2012, 05:38 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Wildcard - 02-26-2012, 06:26 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by heslopian - 02-27-2012, 08:23 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Wildcard - 03-10-2012, 02:28 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by tectak - 03-10-2012, 03:42 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by ckeo - 03-10-2012, 11:23 AM

RE: Dreadnaught - by Wildcard - 03-10-2012, 12:53 PM

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