The Heat

[Leanne]

The Heat

I jump into metaphor -- to my reading this line seems short a beat, but adding one would make the next line too long... I thought maybe "I jump straight into metaphor/ like lemmings into space" to grab a bit more of that lovely assonance
like a lemming into space.
Words fly and land; splat
flat against a pixelated net. -- love this!
My similis are oft' misspelt -- ah, sweet irony, it's so pretty
and unkempt, not dyslexic -- to make the most of your meter, I'd be tempted to remove "and" and re-punctuate something like "unkempt; they're not dyslexic"
but hectic wrote. No time to scratch
my scroat that itches, like -- in my improper usage dictionary (the one in my head) "scrote" is the more common spelling
some on heat bitches -- I'd hyphenate "on-heat" (it's on heat here as well, I mean, not right now, but generally speaking...)
hidden in my pen. -- would "hiding" work better? I don't know either...