Memories of Galway (edit 3)

[tectak]

Edit 1. Billy,erthona

Galway trips to Bodhran drums; the rhythm bounces bones
and massages the land into the flesh of those who linger here.
The bromide brown of home hearth peat hangs sepia clouds to reek the air.
Embalmed and gladdened by its smoked intent, kippered cousins drift in groups
along west pointing quays; fishers all, they meet for craic, and to judge the fickle sky.

The Bodhran pulse, sound metronome of life, drifts wind-sheared from the shore;
mixing madrigals of wild excess with songs of shifting shingle and hissing grass.
The drowning sun spits gilded flecks upon the hammered pewter bay, where shadow men
cast long from black stone piers, flit broken-imaged on the flashing sea.
Then molten red, before the night turns round, the dripping ropes are hauled. this works much better for me

Bearded chains strain taught, pluck straight, and flick fat mussels into brine. did i say i love this line, specially as it is now.
Anchors weighed, encrusted more than trust would choose, 'cept to a Galway man,
hang and clang against the heaving bows; the emptied harbour echoes with the sound.
The Bodhran jumps a maudling mile, the sombre thuds still heard through dense night air.

A mile, a fractioned second now; but soon the boats will ply the tide and league by league
the muffled beat will subsititute for hearts of men. The Galway fleet is on the swell;
sure all is well, boy. All is well.


Tectak
Galway
2004
In s1l5 originally was "ghuagach" meaning fickle. Changed to avoid cries of foul, on grounds of obscurity. It is not obscure in Ireland but we are not in Ireland. Irish readers please note. Put it back if you wish but help me with the correct spelling. The word I heard used on many fishing trips but the Irish argued the "h"
after the "g" until all were better informed but none the wiser. Then we came home.[/color]
This is an exercise in lyrical and lilting irish verse. There are way too many adjectives per stanza but it was great fun to write....you may enjoy destroying it!

maudling works better i think. though should it be maudlin?
substitute still needs correcting (i can't believe i'm acting like a grammar cop
i knew what trips meant, and thanks for the explanation. many would have said google it i just felt that in this instant many who don't know about the revelry over there may be misled.

the edit though small improves the piece a lot as far as my opinion goes.

Gracious thanks, billy. Corrections applied. Still working on the massages line. It stumbles along rather than trips.
I think one more edit should do it.
Has ascerbic Leanne got another job as a panda at the local zoo. She eats shoots and leaves these days.
Best,
Tectak