hotel

[Todd]

Hi Geoff,

I struggled with the interpretation on this one. I've started these comments only to erase them and start again. I'm still not sure I'm putting the pieces together correctly, but here goes.

Taking the title into account, I think we have a couple that is sharing a room in a hotel that has been converted from a bank. I'm not sure if there is/was an actual bull or if we're saying that there was issues keeping the bank running because of a bull market? The rodeo would seem to imply that there may have been an actual incident but I'm a little unclear of what's going on in S1-2 as far as the bull is concerned.

It seems that the clerk that is taking the couple to their room may have once used the room as his office (or someone like him did). It's possible that "our clerk" refered to later is simply the narrator imagining the old use of the room and the man that used to occupy it.

Some line comments:

Our single was still a records office
in a bank when a bull stormed the lobby.

During the rodeo, three men paraded
him to a trailer, as upstairs--I've already mentioned my interpretation issues with S1-2. Not understanding the lead in fully, I'd be tempted to focus on the clerk right from the beginning since he seems the point of the piece. That said, I'm just as likely missing something crucial so possibly disregard what I'm saying here.

our door was closed
by a clerk thinking of sleep, unable--I like the detail of "thinking of sleep" and the way you use unable to imply unable to sleep and to play off the next strophe

to see room for a bed
beside his desk, or
expect a Bible in a drawer.--These are good character details it suggests someone without much imagination. He sees only what is. It's hard for him to adjust his perceptions to any other reality. It suggests something about his life.

If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.--I absolutely love these lines. They are the strongest in the poem. I would be tempted to begin the poem with them as the set the scene so well. It really is brilliant writing

When we shower, I wonder--This might but does not necessarily suggest intimacy. If the word both was included after we it might suggest separate showers. I read this as showering together.
if our clerk ever wanted to wash--I think you need to add "off" to the end of this line.
the smell of ink and numbers
before returning to a wife,--This kind of gives a Walter Mitty sort of sense. The clerk is disappointed with his life or knows that his wife is. There's a sad sense here. You do a lot of nice stuff with these lines

and if he would sit in our chair,
eyeing the river bend
instead of straddling a desk, but mostly--I like all of this

I wonder what it was like to be paid
for a room with a view.--I wonder if there is a way you could condense these two lines into the previous strophe. I think you almost touch upon this idea in the previous strophe in the setup. The way the ending is written was a bit of a letdown for me. It could just be that room with a view is something I've heard before and it isn't what I'd want ot leave the reader with. It probably is mostly because your build up is much better than your conclusion (in my opinion).

I hope some of this will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd