03-04-2012, 07:46 AM
V. 4 Thanks to tec
number of changes; most apply to the closing stanzas
hotel
If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.
Our single was still a records office,
back when our door was closed by a clerk
thinking of sleep, unable
to see room for a bed or expect
a Bible in a drawer.
When we shower, I wonder
if he would sit in our chair without a desk
to crowd with folders, drafts, and pens
and be uncomfortable;
if he ever wanted to wash away
the smell of ink and numbers
before returning to a wife,
as if the sound of us
could wake him
eighty years ago.
V. 3 thanks to Todd and billy
S. 1: old stanza 3; the bull and bank have been removed
S. 4: added "away" before "before"
S. 5: completely new
penultimate stanza: removed "and"
hotel
If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.
Our single was still a records office
back when our door was closed
by a clerk thinking of sleep, unable
to see room for a bed
beside his desk, or
expect a Bible in a drawer.
When we shower, I wonder
if he ever wanted to wash
the smell of ink and numbers
away before returning to a wife,
if he would sit in our chair,
eyeing the river bend
instead of straddling a desk;
the same chair I find myself
wanting to replace.
Original
hotel
Our single was still a records office
in a bank when a bull stormed the lobby.
During the rodeo, three men paraded
him to a trailer, as upstairs
our door was closed
by a clerk thinking of sleep, unable
to see room for a bed
beside his desk, or
expect a Bible in a drawer.
If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.
When we shower, I wonder
if our clerk ever wanted to wash
the smell of ink and numbers
before returning to a wife,
and if he would sit in our chair,
eyeing the river bend
instead of straddling a desk, but mostly
I wonder what it was like to be paid
for a room with a view.
number of changes; most apply to the closing stanzas
hotel
If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.
Our single was still a records office,
back when our door was closed by a clerk
thinking of sleep, unable
to see room for a bed or expect
a Bible in a drawer.
When we shower, I wonder
if he would sit in our chair without a desk
to crowd with folders, drafts, and pens
and be uncomfortable;
if he ever wanted to wash away
the smell of ink and numbers
before returning to a wife,
as if the sound of us
could wake him
eighty years ago.
V. 3 thanks to Todd and billy
S. 1: old stanza 3; the bull and bank have been removed
S. 4: added "away" before "before"
S. 5: completely new
penultimate stanza: removed "and"
hotel
If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.
Our single was still a records office
back when our door was closed
by a clerk thinking of sleep, unable
to see room for a bed
beside his desk, or
expect a Bible in a drawer.
When we shower, I wonder
if he ever wanted to wash
the smell of ink and numbers
away before returning to a wife,
if he would sit in our chair,
eyeing the river bend
instead of straddling a desk;
the same chair I find myself
wanting to replace.
Original
hotel
Our single was still a records office
in a bank when a bull stormed the lobby.
During the rodeo, three men paraded
him to a trailer, as upstairs
our door was closed
by a clerk thinking of sleep, unable
to see room for a bed
beside his desk, or
expect a Bible in a drawer.
If the photograph is right,
the walls were black, the window shrunken,
and everything grey as 1935.
When we shower, I wonder
if our clerk ever wanted to wash
the smell of ink and numbers
before returning to a wife,
and if he would sit in our chair,
eyeing the river bend
instead of straddling a desk, but mostly
I wonder what it was like to be paid
for a room with a view.
Written only for you to consider.