What the Storm Taught Us (Revision 4)

[Philatone]

He spoke
and starlight pierced the clouds ...wow, caught me off-guard, but in a good way I think. the older versions just did not lead me here. for some reason, I always imagined this scene during the day, so to put it at night really opens up everything
in a thousand knife thrusts--...sometimes, being direct with adjectives is the best way to go (instead of using "of"); that being said, I feel as though this image is almost too jarring for the piece. while I like the cadence, and the idea (putting the adjective "knife" right before "thrusts" really captures the motion), it seemed to break from the tone of the rest of the piece for me with its quick, sharp violence. It felt like a line belonging to another poem for me. again, this is for you to give or take--I think the way you express the idea is original, and I really like the line, just didn't think it was the place. on a sidenote; I think a word with two syllables will give you a better cadence with the line, rather than two quick one-syllable words
The waves receding...considered dropping the article "the", or at least using lowercase for the line
like a whisper. So still...I like the first "so still" because it leads up well to that stepping onto water; the second one I could have done without

more suggestions for the table; take what you will! this was the only part I really had anything nitpicky to raise