03-01-2012, 05:55 AM
"..." after "from" seems unnecessary
maybe use "(there’s no room for mercy)" instead of "— ... —"
I abhor "abhor", some other word...
fix rhythm of last two lines
maybe
"Intended consciously or not,
we pay for sins that we’ve forgot."
or maybe keep it varied to emphasize the end:
"Intended consciously or not,
we pay
for all the sins that we’ve forgot."
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions