What the Storm Taught Us (Revision 4)

[Todd]

Hi Mark,

Thank you for the comments (and of course you didn't screw anything up). Thank you for pointing out what works for you. It was most helpful. To some of your points:

Fisherman line: I see your point let me give it some thought. I like the clarity it brings, but yes I've seen this type of construction before and I should be able to get there in a better way, or simply cut those lines. I'll give it some thought.

Man of words: I get your drift and soon I think 8 chapters of narrative the narrator will declare his identity more forcefully, and then deny him...the question is before this moment does the narrator know yet.

Longed/hoped: I was going for longing (desire). Hoped could work though.

Last lines: it could be that I'm asking the lines to do to much...in these types of stories the holy inspires terror and it isn't that they want to die but they want to hide--similar to the Garden of Eden reaction.

I've probably spelled out too much and ruined the initial impressions, but I wanted to give you an answer.

Thanks again.

Best,

Todd