Dress Code

[rayheinrich]

Like the revised version except that last line in the 3rd stanza.
Carp igniting a pond is too removed from the subject matter
(and a bit over-the-top).

everyone wearing
everyone else's clothes
made those things bolder
the way carp ignite a pond,


The original, not that I loved it that much, was better.
What I didn't like there was "shot".

everyone wearing
everyone else's clothes
made those things bolder
as a shot of sun
in an afternoon hallway,


Come up with another metaphor about plain stuff making
odd stuff stand out. What's wrong with both of the previous
ones is that they're trying too hard. Make it simple, not flashy.