02-17-2012, 09:24 AM
(02-16-2012, 04:36 AM)Leanne Wrote: You capture the primeval hush very well in your opening stanza and one can almost imagine that Utopia in which man has not yet begun to imprint the world in his misguided image. The use of enjambment is very good throughout, allowing the rhymes to fall naturally without disturbing the flow of the poem. The only word that seems a little off to me is "transient" in the last line -- not that it isn't the exact word, I think it's probably just the sonics that are disturbed there but I have no alternatives to offer.....and I loved the place so I'm going back in September. Google scotnature for details. You would love it.. God how I detest people who say that!
I really did enjoy this, thank you.
Thanks for your words. Agree about "transient" but think the whole last line reads a little Churchillian......and as we know, he was a man of no romance.
Best,
Tectak