The Last Letter

[tectak]

V. 2

when my body preparesWhy no capital.Does the lack add anything?
to imprison me in silence,As a confirmation of advancing age, this opener holds water but....
walking me towards my pine cell,then an anomally; who is walking who?
it will casually ask Who?
for a last request
and I will have none. sorry to be pedantic but you will have none last request?

I will not even have It, I and oh no...I can see what is coming! They is the final word. This stanza MUST be looked at. More horrors follow.
a final word
to be remembered by
as they have all run out
like chairs at a table. Not metaphorically acceptable. There is a comedic image here which is hard to overcome. The grammar is the problem. I wonder did the chairs run out at a gallop or a canter? Try "There are no words left,
No chairs at the table" I still have no idea what it means but by God it means what it says.

All that will be leftFrom here to the end I shall require medication; preferably something illegal and mind expanding. This is not unfair criticism because it plays into the spirit of the piece.
is an M,
a letter left hanging in the air
when all of its brothers--
the S's, A's, even the Q's--
were stroked into sentences.

Just an M
small enough
to be carried in a pocket,
while still too large
to crumple into a farewell,

potent enough
to poison certainty into doubt
and still show delight
before a meal.

M
one letter to show a thousand,
one sound to shut a mouth.

How unfortunate
to not have used it sooner,
to live without
the curves
of the pill
on my tongue,

to remember it
at the moment
the door is closed
and there is nothing more
to say.

OK. What to say? It is entirely within the remit of the critic to declare bias. I am not able to appreciate work which leaves me perplexed and not in a good way. I confess to feeling that some work, and this is an example, is a trap; unwittingly, perhaps, the writer is testing the critic. I have done it myself in a fit of pique when I was ten. Not since then. Why do I judge this piece so harshly? Well, because that is the contract. Breaking the contract is unforgiveable by either party....writer or critic. If I am a pedant then expect pedantic comment. It is only me. So if I am still enabled would it be too much to ask (and if so, say so ) to begin by using punctuation. I will not judge content for the reason stated above.
Best,
Tectak
________________________

Original


when my body prepares
to imprison me in silence,
walking me towards my maple cell,
it will casually ask
for a last request
and I will have none,

not even a final word
to be remembered by
as they have all run out
like chairs at a table.

All that will be left
inside this belabored box
is an M
small enough
to be carried in a pocket,
while still too large
to crumple into a farewell,

potent enough
to poison certainty to doubt
and still show delight
before a meal.

M
one letter to show a thousand,
one sound to shut a mouth.

How unfortunate
to not have used it sooner,
to live without
the curves
of the pill
on my tongue,

to remember it
at the moment
the door is closed
and there is nothing more
to say.