02-14-2012, 10:26 AM
That was me that said it is nearly impossible to do so. I always say that before I tear apart some god awful Christopher Marlow imitator (and of course his original was god awful also).
Tectak,
I admire your stalwart attempt at a clichés-less love poem, although some of your images leave something to be desired, but by God, one can't fault you for lack of originality. It is leagues above the efforts of the lovelorn writers of sophomoronic Hallmarkisms that appear to be the love infested's insult of choice, that and that God-awful pedantic dogmatic religiosity they refer to as religious poetry. Somehow, the first stanza recalled to me the image of the stay puff marshmallow man from Ghost Busters. Nice play on font, and fount. Although somewhat awkward "never backspaced though you've faults" is a nice line/image. I'm not sure how you get "On Turkish linen, in papyrus" to work,unless you mean the font "papyrus"? I see we have revisited your self manufactured "phenolic ink" to give a nice soaking of bile at the end, something no love poem should be without
For some reason the poem reminds me of one of Poe's romantic tales...I wonder why that is?
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I love you like cottage cheese,
let me count the wheys! err clichés
Stay in my thoughts
Yet love,
For you I fought
with love renewed.
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"yanks claiming responsibility for it"
Hey, we only claim responsibility for pulling the Frenchies cookies out of the fire, which we now realize was a mistake.
We realized that when we got to Paris and saw that the French had planted trees up and down the Champ Elysees so the German's could march in the shade as they conquered them.
Dale
Tectak,
I admire your stalwart attempt at a clichés-less love poem, although some of your images leave something to be desired, but by God, one can't fault you for lack of originality. It is leagues above the efforts of the lovelorn writers of sophomoronic Hallmarkisms that appear to be the love infested's insult of choice, that and that God-awful pedantic dogmatic religiosity they refer to as religious poetry. Somehow, the first stanza recalled to me the image of the stay puff marshmallow man from Ghost Busters. Nice play on font, and fount. Although somewhat awkward "never backspaced though you've faults" is a nice line/image. I'm not sure how you get "On Turkish linen, in papyrus" to work,unless you mean the font "papyrus"? I see we have revisited your self manufactured "phenolic ink" to give a nice soaking of bile at the end, something no love poem should be without
For some reason the poem reminds me of one of Poe's romantic tales...I wonder why that is? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love you like cottage cheese,
let me count the wheys! err clichés
Stay in my thoughts
Yet love,
For you I fought
with love renewed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"yanks claiming responsibility for it"
Hey, we only claim responsibility for pulling the Frenchies cookies out of the fire, which we now realize was a mistake.
We realized that when we got to Paris and saw that the French had planted trees up and down the Champ Elysees so the German's could march in the shade as they conquered them.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.