02-10-2012, 11:58 AM
Sorry not to have commented before..
I think this is perfectly splendid, top-whack, top-hole.
It had a good rolling rhythm, and the meter more or less behaved itself, in an iambic sort of way, though the 'Anguish' line wobbled into troche a little, but it still seemed OK in the way that things can, if previously it has all been going along so well.
I use inversions in my ordinary speech, and so, I fancy does Leanne ("A real bastard he is") and although in the big cities in the UK, one can witness a degradation of the language, there seems to me to be no reason to hasten it along. It does, in any event, as you mention somewhere, reflect, the times.
Yes, a bit Coleridge - bereft though it be of the rich imagery he was fond of.
Tell me that I did not know you in Another Place. Or if I did ---
Pip-pip old top!
I think this is perfectly splendid, top-whack, top-hole.
It had a good rolling rhythm, and the meter more or less behaved itself, in an iambic sort of way, though the 'Anguish' line wobbled into troche a little, but it still seemed OK in the way that things can, if previously it has all been going along so well.
I use inversions in my ordinary speech, and so, I fancy does Leanne ("A real bastard he is") and although in the big cities in the UK, one can witness a degradation of the language, there seems to me to be no reason to hasten it along. It does, in any event, as you mention somewhere, reflect, the times.
Yes, a bit Coleridge - bereft though it be of the rich imagery he was fond of.
Tell me that I did not know you in Another Place. Or if I did ---
Pip-pip old top!