02-10-2012, 05:24 AM
Many, many thank for this. I hope that the language is idiosyncratic if not actually implying humorous intent (in the Bertie Wooster style).
I will incorporate some of your suggestions immediately.....others I will dwell upon!
I previously published this effort on the "other" site where erthona was constructive to a degree. The last modifications were suggested by Leanne..It is becoming a joint effort.
On specific points I confess to having rather a long line memory...in writing verse I subject the reader to unnecessary leaps back and forth...for this I apologise.
Apart from typos I have to accept fair criticism of errors in grammar. I have not had a chance to read this piece out loud in a quiet room. When I do I will pick up on half beats and correct where necessary.
This poem was inspired by the ludicrous tale of "The ascent of Rum Doodle" by Bowman.
Best,
Tectak
I will incorporate some of your suggestions immediately.....others I will dwell upon!
I previously published this effort on the "other" site where erthona was constructive to a degree. The last modifications were suggested by Leanne..It is becoming a joint effort.
On specific points I confess to having rather a long line memory...in writing verse I subject the reader to unnecessary leaps back and forth...for this I apologise.
Apart from typos I have to accept fair criticism of errors in grammar. I have not had a chance to read this piece out loud in a quiet room. When I do I will pick up on half beats and correct where necessary.
This poem was inspired by the ludicrous tale of "The ascent of Rum Doodle" by Bowman.
Best,
Tectak