The Love Song of Burke and Wills

[Wildcard]

Hi darlin',
Never heard of Burke, Wills, and King, but a quick read satisfied me that I didn't necessarily need to know that story to enjoy the read- which I did very much.

Ya know the drill blah blah hope this helps :p

and then at sunset --This opening grew on my quickly. Kinda just drags you right on in
stars seeded from the sands’ fire
shot to bloom across the sky

underfoot, the desert whispered
now I stir, now I strike --I appreciate the repetition here, but wonder if it would be better as 'I stir and I strike'
like yesterday

one foot, two foot
now a kangaroo foot
hop to the left, there’s a light

gone past --like the beginning of the end. Does this slow it down enough? Does it need an ellipsis?

and God sang lullabies
hush, the thirst
hush, the dry skin crackling against
swollen tongue
shhh

God said
I am in your head
cut it off
cut it out
come to me

chasm lips, the lizards seek
a resting place
erase yourself
bleach
and be clean

wind folds breath into dust
bones dance clear of flesh --loved this line. You make rigor mortis sound elegant.
and morning brings rain

Around the sixth stanza I got lost but caught back up (I think) at seven. When I read it aloud the last stanza is superb. You make-a me jealous!