01-13-2012, 12:15 PM
Philatone,
Thanks for your feedback (I get tired of typing that, but I swear I mean it every time
)
I think what I got from your crit is that I haven't done enough to really get the feeling behind this one. I think you gave me some good ideas(like I may cut the first line of the last stanza and then add a couple of stanzas in between.) It might take me awhile, but this was my first poem that I posted and I want to accomplish what I set out to do if it takes me forever. Thanks again friend.
Dale,
Okay, good to know. I will try to detail the 'her's personality more and make my grammar more clear. Maybe I should just try to write it all in iambs as well? We'll see . . .
Thanks for your feedback (I get tired of typing that, but I swear I mean it every time
)I think what I got from your crit is that I haven't done enough to really get the feeling behind this one. I think you gave me some good ideas(like I may cut the first line of the last stanza and then add a couple of stanzas in between.) It might take me awhile, but this was my first poem that I posted and I want to accomplish what I set out to do if it takes me forever. Thanks again friend.
Dale,
Okay, good to know. I will try to detail the 'her's personality more and make my grammar more clear. Maybe I should just try to write it all in iambs as well? We'll see . . .