Askew

[billy]

This revision reads more clearly to me, especially the first three stanzas.

Hate to disagree with Billy,

"but fragmented honesty"

seems one of the best lines in the poem, and really puts in clear relief what is being juxtaposed:

Dale

it's good that people disagree, specially for the poet, it makes them think, (i think)
back on topic, i see where you're going with sleeve now you mention it. and i should have understood without being told. thanks for the clarification