Askew

[Wildcard]

Hi Leanne,
I've read this one quite a few times, but avoided the comments entirely because I'm trying to find it for myself. My level of success is admittedly low, but I still want to give you my thoughts as you may benefit from the viewpoint of total idiots that read your work :p

Revision 10/01/12

Sometimes I tilt my head to the side
and cross-eyed, try to imagine your view
through that close woven canvas you wear
as your gray-shadowed sleeve --gives me the picture of someone sitting in partial darkness or intense shadow

I can’t find the itch that straddles my back, --great line. Some lines I fly over, but some make me go back and re-read them and other bits in comparison. 'straddles' makes this unique imo
though I seek it in your blank stare
and scratch with the barbs that ride --don't mean to dote, but 'barbs that ride on tepid breath' is great. Makes me think of biting criticism or a generally rough edge
upon your tepid breath

I know the blood has been freed from my skin
by the footprints you leave with my shoes -- I don't get how someone can leave footprints with YOUR shoes . . .
as you waltz carefree into the cave
to drink from the Lethe once more

I stand before the mirror and you
try to suture my skin to my bloodied clothes,
not realising that it is not wholeness I desire,
but fragmented honesty -- I don't know the intent here, but it makes me think of the old 'does this dress make me look fat?' question.

Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier like this,
with my eyes pleasantly scaled and dark -- I hear a lot of eyes being scaled. Is there another way to say it? And does it need to be scaled AND dark?
and no questing blades to score my flesh
with lines not parallel like yours

but I don’t think I can breathe
underground

I'm sure I've missed a lot of this, but I'm still reading it- which in itself is a tribute because I have the attention span of a mosquito :p

Thanks for sharing Leanne.