hi karren,
the last verse is very poignant
the 1st 3 verse more or less say the same thing. in ways that have been used before. if you can try and say it in a way that hasn't been said before. the three line format works. the last 3 verse make different points and thats good, i think the last 2 could pass muster but still. i think you can make the whole poem have more substance with a few well chosen words.