Workshop question

[Erthona]

It could also be written as a line of 8 in accentual verse with rhyming couplets but that's pretty long.

She was old and feeble, but that's not why they pushed her down the stairs.

well it's a good first line for free association.

As it is now there are 8 total accents, the first three nearly demand you break it there, so that leaves five to deal with, and there is really no way to deal with that elegantly.

"xpose the first line as being much too weak of a lead in"

I don't think I agree with that, but as it stands the lines are very unbalanced.

Maybe

old and feeble were not the cause,
they push her down the stairs,

that's 4/3 almost ballad meter, but it is not in iambs. Can do a second set with end rhymes on the lines of three. So it looks like

ft rhym
4 X
3 A
4 X
3 A

to wit

Old and feeble were not the cause,
they push her down the stairs,
still, she was old and I am young,
so I don't really care.
But if you want to know the truth,
it's often plain to see.......

and off you go...

Dale