12-31-2011, 07:32 PM
I agree with Erth the line 'Those rude heartless' feels as if it is left suspended waiting for something.
The rude, the heartless - would fix it
or
Those rude heartless...you could have creative fun with this line...hounds (alliteration) dudes (echo-rhyme with 'rude'), fiends, morons, bastards, shuttered minds, etc. etc. etc.
The rude, the heartless - would fix it
or
Those rude heartless...you could have creative fun with this line...hounds (alliteration) dudes (echo-rhyme with 'rude'), fiends, morons, bastards, shuttered minds, etc. etc. etc.