Excavation Point

[grannyjill]

Revision #2:

Biting into terra firma
with galvanized teeth,
tasting frozen roots and tubers

in this place-
the last memory that makes sense.

A song breezes through,
but I stamp it out quickly
before it's melody reaches me.

This unceremonious dumping seems wrong,
but it is a notion best avoided.

Dried emotions and brittle bones
litter a fresh cavity
where the scent of rot pervades.

Soon lichen and time will cover the scar-
an attempt to misremember this place:
the only place we have left.

Revision #1:

Biting into terra firma
with galvanized teeth.
tasting frozen roots and tubers

in this place-
the last memory
that makes sense.

unceremonious dumping seems wrong-
a notion best to avoid.

dried emotions and brittle bones
litter a fresh cavity
and an old scent
pervades

soon lichen will hide the scar
an attempt to misremember
the only place
that she could've gone

Original:

biting into the terra firma,
tasting the frozen roots and tubers
with galvanized teeth
this place
is the last place
no other memory makes sense anymore

dumping my favorite in a hole
seems so wrong
in this place
the first place
to avoid

in a few years it will all be over
requisition a new best
and try to misremember this place
the only place
that she could go

-------------------------------------
.....its melody.....

I like the new 'musical' additions -and I particularly like the last line. It is so poignant.