Excavation Point

[Aish]

Hi, Mark! I see you put some effort into the re-write, and am enjoying what I'm reading.

Revised:

Biting into terra firma
with galvanized teeth. I would use a comma here, instead of a period.
tasting frozen roots and tubers

in this place-
the last memory
that makes sense.

unceremonious dumping seems wrong-
a notion best to avoid. Have you considered 'a notion best avoided'?

dried emotions and brittle bones I really like this line.
litter a fresh cavity
and an old scent
pervades

soon lichen will hide the scar Another great line, a comma would be appropriate.
an attempt to misremember
the only place
that she could've gone I think 'that' should be stricken.

Original:

biting into the terra firma,
tasting the frozen roots and tubers
with galvanized teeth
this place
is the last place
no other memory makes sense anymore

dumping my favorite in a hole
seems so wrong
in this place
the first place
to avoid

in a few years it will all be over
requisition a new best
and try to misremember this place
the only place
that she could go