12-30-2011, 07:20 AM
"this verse sounds old-fashioned. It has an olde worlde atmosphere, simple word choice and a lilting even cadence. Even the subject matter speaks of a simpler time."
Yeah, that's a pretty good description of how Ted wrote poetry.
Ted Cherry, was nobody famous, he could on occasion turn out some nice lines of iambic pentameter. I think he would be eighty if he were still alive. He died at the beginning of 2011. Like me I suppose, he was a bit of an acquired taste.
Although the punctuation appears awkward, it is there more as a pronunciation guide than anything. Probably should be an exclamation mark after yes, instead of a period. I also write music, and at times I feel frustrated that poetry has no notation system that tells where you more or less time to a word, how long a silence is, or where and how hard to stress certain syllables. I will note you concern, and come back to this later when I am not so familiar with it. I'm not sure at the moment I can see what is actually there, as opposed to what I intend to be there. For some reason this is one of the more difficult aspect of my poetry for me to see clearly, not because I have any problem changing it, but after working on it for so long, I can no longer tell what it sounds like because I have such a strong impression of what I want it to be. It is weird, as often I write with the idea of up beats, down beats, quarter notes and triplets. If you take the first line, assuming we are in 3/4 time signature "yes" would receive one whole beats, "Death" would get one beat, and the last four words would almost be like a triplet formation of sixteenth notes. So the line would basically take one breath for those three beats, as it is a bit andante, maybe around quarter note = 55. Stately, but tired, or tired dignity if you will.
Dale
Yeah, that's a pretty good description of how Ted wrote poetry.
Ted Cherry, was nobody famous, he could on occasion turn out some nice lines of iambic pentameter. I think he would be eighty if he were still alive. He died at the beginning of 2011. Like me I suppose, he was a bit of an acquired taste.
Although the punctuation appears awkward, it is there more as a pronunciation guide than anything. Probably should be an exclamation mark after yes, instead of a period. I also write music, and at times I feel frustrated that poetry has no notation system that tells where you more or less time to a word, how long a silence is, or where and how hard to stress certain syllables. I will note you concern, and come back to this later when I am not so familiar with it. I'm not sure at the moment I can see what is actually there, as opposed to what I intend to be there. For some reason this is one of the more difficult aspect of my poetry for me to see clearly, not because I have any problem changing it, but after working on it for so long, I can no longer tell what it sounds like because I have such a strong impression of what I want it to be. It is weird, as often I write with the idea of up beats, down beats, quarter notes and triplets. If you take the first line, assuming we are in 3/4 time signature "yes" would receive one whole beats, "Death" would get one beat, and the last four words would almost be like a triplet formation of sixteenth notes. So the line would basically take one breath for those three beats, as it is a bit andante, maybe around quarter note = 55. Stately, but tired, or tired dignity if you will.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.