Excavation Point

Excavation Point

grannyjill Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 168
Threads: 25
Joined: Aug 2011

#14

12-29-2011, 05:25 PM

You have kept the best bits from the first poem and enhanced them with your re-write. Truly, this is a vast improvement. The completely new verse and the 'lichen' line are a great addition to the 'story'

Only one minor quibble 'the last line'....where she could've gone...is ambiguous (intentional?) Where she could've been placed or where she could've lain/been layed?

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Messages In This Thread

Excavation Point - by Wildcard - 12-27-2011, 05:26 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by grannyjill - 12-27-2011, 07:05 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by Wildcard - 12-27-2011, 07:32 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by grannyjill - 12-27-2011, 07:45 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by Wildcard - 12-27-2011, 08:25 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by grannyjill - 12-27-2011, 04:17 PM

RE: Excavation Point - by Aish - 12-28-2011, 05:33 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by Wildcard - 12-28-2011, 08:11 AM

RE: Excavation Point - by grannyjill - 12-28-2011, 05:46 PM

RE: Excavation Point - by Philatone - 12-29-2011, 05:34 AM