Jiminy, there have been very good points made about the importance of rhythm -- even freeverse is improved with a driving meter, which need not be regular, it just helps the sounds fall in ways more pleasing to the ear and adds to the mood of the piece, as well as making certain parts stand out. Without altering too many of your lines or really taking any parts out, I'll just make some alternative line suggestions so you can compare and decide for yourself.
Quote:mango
just picked this mango
from under its tree
brought it up a bit closer to see
its peach and rose blush
firm, yielding to touch
the bouquet is a rush
fully ripe, darling
just like you
out of touch
i lift the peel gently
from soft amber flesh
and mouthing it's softness
right to the seed
I'm eating this mango
but it's you that I need
you're at the office
to fund our love grove
the fruits of our labours
indeed a rich trove
juice is now running
down my forearm and chin
teasing the fibres out
just for a whim
thoughts rambling wildly
out of the blue
oh babe
I'm so lost without you
It could be worse