12-27-2011, 07:05 AM
The opening verse has a lovely rhythm to it, and I love the alliterative 't' in the first three lines but I wonder if you need another word instead of 'roots' or another word for 'tubers' 'cos I reckon they are the same thing! You could say 'earth' and 'tubers' to keep the same rhythm (altho' you do lose one of your 't's')
....I see what you are doing with 'place' but I'm not sure you can get away with so much repetition.
I have absolutely no idea what you are burying, it could be a girl-friend or an old cadillac but I don't care!
Edit - your title implies 'digging something up' not 'burying something' - so, I may be totally wrong in my last sentence!
....I see what you are doing with 'place' but I'm not sure you can get away with so much repetition.
I have absolutely no idea what you are burying, it could be a girl-friend or an old cadillac but I don't care!
Edit - your title implies 'digging something up' not 'burying something' - so, I may be totally wrong in my last sentence!