12-21-2011, 08:22 PM
I cleaned up the format since the resounding consensus was it sucked 
First I want to say there is no spider imagery. If it comes across that way it kind of bums me out. I am all for individual interpretations, but no. NO spiders. All snake.
The orobouros is a coiled snake eating its own tail. It is used in alchemy and often when you see a depiction it is along with the caption quod me nutrit me destruit (that which nourishes me destroys me). The double orobouros, two snakes entwined together, devouring each other, was the starting point for this piece.
Todd is quite correct in ascertaining twilight as a demarcation, and not only can hearts be deceptive, but our very natures as human tend to be as well. Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus - Love is rich with both honey and venom.
spinning mouths
embroider silk embraces
from the sky of impersonated longing. = artful speech weaves ardent embraces from half-truths and exposed desire.
Todd's reply regarding 'barter cankered covenants" is also spot on with my intentions. I am replacing 'and' in L7 with 'as'.
The end is not really a riddle. The ending is a culmination of the double orobouros - the parties involved in the relationship are BOTH the lover and the knife, i.e. honey and venom.
If there are any other suggestions with how to deal with my prepositional phrases I would certainly be open to them.
First I want to say there is no spider imagery. If it comes across that way it kind of bums me out. I am all for individual interpretations, but no. NO spiders. All snake.
The orobouros is a coiled snake eating its own tail. It is used in alchemy and often when you see a depiction it is along with the caption quod me nutrit me destruit (that which nourishes me destroys me). The double orobouros, two snakes entwined together, devouring each other, was the starting point for this piece.
Todd is quite correct in ascertaining twilight as a demarcation, and not only can hearts be deceptive, but our very natures as human tend to be as well. Amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus - Love is rich with both honey and venom.
spinning mouths
embroider silk embraces
from the sky of impersonated longing. = artful speech weaves ardent embraces from half-truths and exposed desire.
Todd's reply regarding 'barter cankered covenants" is also spot on with my intentions. I am replacing 'and' in L7 with 'as'.
The end is not really a riddle. The ending is a culmination of the double orobouros - the parties involved in the relationship are BOTH the lover and the knife, i.e. honey and venom.
If there are any other suggestions with how to deal with my prepositional phrases I would certainly be open to them.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?