Coiled

[Wildcard]

Hi Aish,
I usually have a little trouble with metaphors and the like, but this is wonderful. I removed the formatting for the purpose of crit. I hope you don't mind . . .

In the twilight of a sibilant heart
spinning mouths --I read this as kissing as the forerunner of the tangled web relationships and encounters consist of
embroider silk embraces
from the sky of impersonated longing.
Eggshell gestures --'eggshell' is a nice image of the fragile nature of interpersonal affairs
barter cankered covenants
and the snarling flint of skin
grinds against the whetstone of lustful danger. --favorite line! 'lustful danger' is great imo. Very original
When pain becomes a broken hunger
who is the lover, and who is the knife?

And the close was done well. I did have to read this a few times to get a full impression, but I routinely have to do that because I am slow-witted

Also I do agree that the formatting is adding nothing to this poem. JMO of course.

Thanks for sharing.