12-14-2011, 01:29 PM
Mark,
Thanks for the welcome and the read and comments.
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The ellipsis indicates that you are entering in, in the middle of a conversation. The "...and yes" is responding to a question. Despite the fact the question is left out, the answer which follows should indicate what the question was.
Absolutely! Thanks for catching that, I'll correct it.
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"--I'm not a punctuation genius so I may be wrong, but I think an ellipsis or hyphen would server as a better lead-in to a great final line."
I didn't want to go too Henny Youngman here, and thought that a comma was about the right amount of pause indicated for normal speech, sans drum roll.
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"a little straight-forward" "it felt like an article in an e-zine"
This was written with the intent of appear facile. However, it does use the stream of consciousness technique of changing speakers, and thus viewpoint, without telling you that it is. There is the opening "responder" persona, which takes a measured tone towards these aspects of poetry under discussion. Then the somewhat indignant fan of the Velvet Elvis, which it holds up as superior to either Gogan or Van Gogh because a. It hadn't really heard of either, and b. quantity, as "more have been painted (and sold)". The final speaker is a somewhat more well defined speaker. She has gender for one thing, she is obviously a fan of talk TV, and she doesn't have a clue about poetry, except to assume that the only requirement for it is to rhyme.
This is a satire, but it is a satire that pokes fun at both the academician who would restrict poetry to a straightjacket of rules (which they assume are absolute because someone said so), and the uneducated person who takes Hallmark cards as the high watermark of poetry.
So it is possible I need to be more clear about what I am doing, because while I would agree that the tone is fairly straightforward, I don't think a duel level satire is, not to mention that the extended metaphor is anything but straightforward. Regardless, thanks for taking the time for the read and the comments.
Dale
Thanks for the welcome and the read and comments.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The ellipsis indicates that you are entering in, in the middle of a conversation. The "...and yes" is responding to a question. Despite the fact the question is left out, the answer which follows should indicate what the question was.
Absolutely! Thanks for catching that, I'll correct it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"--I'm not a punctuation genius so I may be wrong, but I think an ellipsis or hyphen would server as a better lead-in to a great final line."
I didn't want to go too Henny Youngman here, and thought that a comma was about the right amount of pause indicated for normal speech, sans drum roll.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"a little straight-forward" "it felt like an article in an e-zine"
This was written with the intent of appear facile. However, it does use the stream of consciousness technique of changing speakers, and thus viewpoint, without telling you that it is. There is the opening "responder" persona, which takes a measured tone towards these aspects of poetry under discussion. Then the somewhat indignant fan of the Velvet Elvis, which it holds up as superior to either Gogan or Van Gogh because a. It hadn't really heard of either, and b. quantity, as "more have been painted (and sold)". The final speaker is a somewhat more well defined speaker. She has gender for one thing, she is obviously a fan of talk TV, and she doesn't have a clue about poetry, except to assume that the only requirement for it is to rhyme.
This is a satire, but it is a satire that pokes fun at both the academician who would restrict poetry to a straightjacket of rules (which they assume are absolute because someone said so), and the uneducated person who takes Hallmark cards as the high watermark of poetry.
So it is possible I need to be more clear about what I am doing, because while I would agree that the tone is fairly straightforward, I don't think a duel level satire is, not to mention that the extended metaphor is anything but straightforward. Regardless, thanks for taking the time for the read and the comments.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.