12-12-2011, 07:55 AM
LA,
OK, I'll say it for you, when you get my age befuddled comes easily!
Yeah, I am somewhat ambivalent about that line. It was purposeful to misuse it, as it alludes to Elliot's "Hollow Man"
"This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."
as this is a modernist Lear, but I have to agree with you that it reads weirdly and needs to be altered in some way. Maybe
"Will this play end with a bang, or simply be bland?"
Although that seems almost too coherent for this Lear.
Ah, these leetle moderneest peoples can be zo diffeecult at timez.
Ver ist dat Bayron Von Munchhausen ven you need him!
OK, OK, make up your mind, are you French or German?
BUt eet mad-ders nout, vee are all Euros! (God save the Queen!)
Dale
PS Nice to hear from you, Rob and I wonder where you wandered off to. He had/has some sonnet scheme he wanted to entice you in to. However, from what I have seen lately he can turn out Hallmark sonnets at the drop of a noodle!
grannyjill,
"Is that what old men do, leer? My dear one is 74 and he doesn't (well, not while I'm keeping an eye on him he doesn't)."
As far as I can tell, men quit maturing at about the age of 17, and it doesn't matter how crusty the outward shell becomes, we still think we are 17. (Men maturing? Oxymoronic, isn't it?)
"One thing I would change?
"OK, ok! No need to get irate"
...that's not your fault that's because I over-listened to Black Eyed Peas first hit!"
Well that shows you how up to date I am, I didn't even know I was quoting them. At least I now know that when people refer to Fergie they mean the singer, not the royal
Dale
Ed,
"Doing my best to look at it critically, and failing really -- it's Christmas-tide-- the thing which stuck out was 'bland'. It isn't needed as an end-rhyme, but if you switched the words around eg 'be bland, or end with a bang' -- it would be spontaneous-sounding.
"
Sorry didn't see this till after I replied to LA.
Well it does rhyme with hand. However, every time I try and change the end to something like "whimper", I feel compelled to write a line about an old dog with distemper. Wouldn't you know my one similarity to the bard would be an over fondness for bad puns?
But, yes, I agree (despite my justification), something needs to be done about it, and not just cover it up with a bland-aid!
Dale
[/quote]
OK, I'll say it for you, when you get my age befuddled comes easily!
Yeah, I am somewhat ambivalent about that line. It was purposeful to misuse it, as it alludes to Elliot's "Hollow Man" "This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."
as this is a modernist Lear, but I have to agree with you that it reads weirdly and needs to be altered in some way. Maybe
"Will this play end with a bang, or simply be bland?"
Although that seems almost too coherent for this Lear.
Ah, these leetle moderneest peoples can be zo diffeecult at timez.
Ver ist dat Bayron Von Munchhausen ven you need him!
OK, OK, make up your mind, are you French or German?
BUt eet mad-ders nout, vee are all Euros! (God save the Queen!)
Dale
PS Nice to hear from you, Rob and I wonder where you wandered off to. He had/has some sonnet scheme he wanted to entice you in to. However, from what I have seen lately he can turn out Hallmark sonnets at the drop of a noodle!
grannyjill,
"Is that what old men do, leer? My dear one is 74 and he doesn't (well, not while I'm keeping an eye on him he doesn't)."
As far as I can tell, men quit maturing at about the age of 17, and it doesn't matter how crusty the outward shell becomes, we still think we are 17. (Men maturing? Oxymoronic, isn't it?)
"One thing I would change?
"OK, ok! No need to get irate"
...that's not your fault that's because I over-listened to Black Eyed Peas first hit!"
Well that shows you how up to date I am, I didn't even know I was quoting them. At least I now know that when people refer to Fergie they mean the singer, not the royal
Dale
Ed,
"Doing my best to look at it critically, and failing really -- it's Christmas-tide-- the thing which stuck out was 'bland'. It isn't needed as an end-rhyme, but if you switched the words around eg 'be bland, or end with a bang' -- it would be spontaneous-sounding.
"Sorry didn't see this till after I replied to LA.
Well it does rhyme with hand. However, every time I try and change the end to something like "whimper", I feel compelled to write a line about an old dog with distemper. Wouldn't you know my one similarity to the bard would be an over fondness for bad puns?
But, yes, I agree (despite my justification), something needs to be done about it, and not just cover it up with a bland-aid!
Dale
[/quote]
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.