12-12-2011, 05:47 AM
Haha, good stuff Dale, you have that befuddled tone down perfectly -- I'm sure I wouldn't be rude enough to wonder how you managed that!
I did have some difficulty with "a bland" -- I like the rhyme there but bland as a noun is weird to me. I wonder if it's possible to fix it by altering the rest of the line somewhat, perhaps to something like "Will the final scene be flash and bang, or bland?"
This forum is a good place to put poems you're pretty much finished with, that don't fit any other categories and you're not too bothered about being critiqued on. Regardless of where you put your posts, I'm happy to see them
I did have some difficulty with "a bland" -- I like the rhyme there but bland as a noun is weird to me. I wonder if it's possible to fix it by altering the rest of the line somewhat, perhaps to something like "Will the final scene be flash and bang, or bland?"
This forum is a good place to put poems you're pretty much finished with, that don't fit any other categories and you're not too bothered about being critiqued on. Regardless of where you put your posts, I'm happy to see them
It could be worse