It just is:

It just is:

billy Offline

Are you alluding to me?

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Joined: Dec 2009

12-11-2011, 11:59 PM

thank s for taking the time to crit

when i get some free time i'll take a pop at seeing if i can tighten it up. i think you're right about the last verse.
the fizz and is also in retrospect feel too hall marky which wasn't my intention.

great to see you giving feedback.

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Messages In This Thread

It just is: - by billy - 12-11-2011, 11:10 PM

RE: It just is: - by Erthona - 12-11-2011, 11:40 PM

RE: It just is: - by billy - 12-11-2011, 11:59 PM

RE: It just is: - by Erthona - 12-12-2011, 12:13 AM

RE: It just is: - by grannyjill - 12-12-2011, 12:26 AM

RE: It just is: - by Leanne - 12-12-2011, 05:20 AM

RE: It just is: - by Erthona - 12-12-2011, 09:50 AM

RE: It just is: - by billy - 12-13-2011, 08:35 PM

RE: It just is: - by Leanne - 12-12-2011, 09:55 AM

RE: It just is: - by Erthona - 12-12-2011, 10:05 AM

RE: It just is: - by grannyjill - 12-13-2011, 08:07 AM

RE: It just is: - by Erthona - 12-13-2011, 12:38 PM

RE: It just is: - by grannyjill - 12-13-2011, 05:33 PM

RE: It just is: - by Erthona - 12-13-2011, 07:14 PM

RE: It just is: - by billy - 12-13-2011, 08:55 PM

RE: It just is: - by grannyjill - 12-13-2011, 08:58 PM

RE: It just is: - by billy - 12-13-2011, 10:19 PM

RE: It just is: - by billy - 11-29-2014, 07:43 PM

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