12-02-2011, 05:57 AM
What makes the Kyrielle work as well as it does (imo) is exactly that it ends obvious. It makes the next part of:
There was shit on my shoe
and I licked it off
thinking it was toffee
more jarring. In fact, I shared that transition with a friend (writer/poet other site) today as an example of the types of risks that a writer that's lived can take. It's a sign for me of how good this piece can be. You have all these tempo changes in the poem that really make it all sing. So, yeah a little obvious and if it stood on its own it would be a little flat for me for that reason--when you sequence it like you do here though it's awesome.
There was shit on my shoe
and I licked it off
thinking it was toffee
more jarring. In fact, I shared that transition with a friend (writer/poet other site) today as an example of the types of risks that a writer that's lived can take. It's a sign for me of how good this piece can be. You have all these tempo changes in the poem that really make it all sing. So, yeah a little obvious and if it stood on its own it would be a little flat for me for that reason--when you sequence it like you do here though it's awesome.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson