11-29-2011, 04:44 AM
I find this a truly beautiful piece of personification -- and one hell of an impressive edit! The cobwebs and spiders in the first stanzas straight away build a haunted mood that continues right through to the penultimate stanza, where the volta brings it back into the present, but with great subtlety.
My one suggestion is the possible excision of an -ing in S6, perhaps:
trebles floating to the mirror
watching themselves,
as basses slog around
the lower shelves
of the bookcase?
My one suggestion is the possible excision of an -ing in S6, perhaps:
trebles floating to the mirror
watching themselves,
as basses slog around
the lower shelves
of the bookcase?
It could be worse