11-14-2011, 01:03 PM
I love this. It had an interesting beginning, which opened up and revealed itself to be something spectacularly clever. I love all the scenarios you put forward, and it seemed like each stanza i read was more charming than the last. I have very little to suggest. How about, "I once saw him walk" as the first line, to add a dash more interest? Also, I think "Yet" in stanza 8 makes "Still" in stanza 10 redundant, or am I reading it incorrectly? Either way, I enjoyed the read very much 
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?